Yesterday was an overwhealming day.
Living in the South so far away from extended family, my little family: Rich, Bekah, Laura and I have bonded really tight. Mom and Dad and the cousins were our extended family for a long time.
I spent years missing Massachusetts, missing those Sunday dinners at Meme's house: cousins, aunts, uncles, football, basketball, baseball, good food, play clothes, and laughter. I couldnt wait until we moved home to Massachusetts. Life doesnt always cooperate with our desires, and Georgia became my home. Our roots in Georgia are now deep, my friends and the community where we have 'rooted' ourselves have become my extended family to a large degree.
Yesterday, spending the afternoon with my aunts, uncles, second cousins, cousins, and my own nuclear family I realized how much time has passed. It was a bittersweet afternoon that had moments that made me warm and comforted, like those afternoons at Meme's house,mingled with moments where I realized that time and distance has set me outside that fragile bubble of comfortable belonging. I found myself mourning that childhood feeling of belonging along with my Mom yesterday. I also found myself celebrating the amazing people my cousins have become. As children we were all just a mass of possibilities. Now, seeing these incredible men and women as adults, with children of their own, I see possibilities that have been realized. Beautiful families with beautiful children and personal success. Instead of that child-like state of being extensions of our parents we have all come into our own as people and it was beautiful and inspiring to see. I was so glad that my own children, on that cusp of adulthood, could have an afternoon glimpse of wonderful role models.
The service was tough, like pulling the scab off of a wound I have been bathing and bandaging and coaxing to heal for months. My feelings are raw again - on the surface. It was a necessary thing though, that celebration of my Mom. It was necessary for all of those people who didnt get to share in her funeral in March, and necessary for me to see and hear the impact my Mom and
Dad have had on so many lives. To me...they were mom and dad. I only got glimpses of the amazing christian role models they had become in so many communities. My mother was love. She was the embodiment of love and I couldnt help but feel her love mirrored back to me through the stories and sharings of so many people who approached me to tell me what she had meant to them in their lives. In each and every person there who had felt her love, and loved her in return, Mom was there yesterday, and she filled the room with love.
Thank you to everyone who shared with me yesterday. You made the day special, and helped me to feel close to my Mother who I miss so desperately.
I know, right...this is a vacation blog, not supposed to be sad....but this was one of the planned events on my vacation. A hard one, but necessary nonetheless. Off to Boston today with my family after saying goodbye to my Dad and nephew Forest.